For some couples, “till death do us part” is a promise they can’t keep, and that parting is not such sweet sorrow after all. In fact, it can be so bitter that even the splitting up of assets is an exercise in hurting one another. Here are some bizarre cases of divorcees staking their fair share of their once-conjugal properties.
You want half of my offshore wealth? I want half of our dog.
According to a Reddit thread about the crazy antics of ex-spouses during the division of their assets, a man spared no expense in his attempts to make his ex-wife cry. Because his wife had a forensic accountant find his stashes of cash in offshore accounts, he hit back by demanding half of their dog, which the wife purportedly spoiled.
Joint custody would’ve been understandable, but no, the husband wanted the poor pooch put to sleep, cremated, and the ashes split 50/50. The man knew that that would never happen, but he did it just to crush his ex-wife’s heart — and to have her waste money on legal fees as she would naturally fight against him on this.
After he made more heartless demands, the judge overseeing their proceedings grew wise to his antics and ordered him to pay her legal fees in addition to his own. Sadly, it’s not far-fetched to think that his lawyer — the one who drafted the “kill the dog” papers — would most likely have used the money paid him on therapy.
He took half of the house. Literally.
A Cambodian couple literally cut their home in half upon separating. Miffed that his wife wouldn’t take care of him when he was ill, he sawed and chiseled his side of the domicile, moved it to his parents’ property, and left his wife’s half standing precariously on its own. Talk about a house divided.
Can’tcha lemme have my Porsche?
While a car loses value if it’s sawed in half, it can be sold whole and have the proceeds be split between divorcees. The car in question, though, was a Porsche. The ex-husband wanted to keep it, while the ex-wife argued that it was an indulgence that no one needed. The practical wife won her case.
A woman wanted her ex-husband’s golf clubs because...
...she simply did not want her ex-husband to have them. Nope, she did not play the sport. She was just, let us say, teed off.
Fights over cupboard contents and furniture…are not about those things.
Bitter divorces apparently bring out the worst in people. They’d steal the family safe containing jewelry, hide clothes and accessories prior to full inventory audits, argue over the contents of liquor bottles, and run keys across the finish of Maseratis — all out of spite.
In fact, in another Reddit entry, ex-spouses would fight over $150 patio furniture for hours while the lawyers on both sides billed each of them at the rate of...$300 an hour. It just goes to show that it’s not about the assets — it’s about sticking it to their ex.
Acrimonious or not, divorces can be messy, especially when it comes to splitting up assets. Keep calm and get your fair share by allying yourself with Buckingham, LaGrandeur & Williams. Drop us a line to learn more about our excellent legal services.