Body:

Domestic violence is NEVER funny…unless the weapon was food and no one was hurt

Domestic violence is NEVER funny…unless the weapon was food and no one was hurt

Based on recent statistics, nearly one-third of all women in the US have experienced domestic violence. So if you can help it, please refrain from using risqué material pertaining to domestic abuse for your comedy act or bar’s slogan. Don’t even make a reference to one of pop culture’s most infamous cases when guest-rapping on your wife’s hit single.

When we think of domestic violence, we tend to envision swollen lips, broken arms, and black eyes. But because we live in such interesting times, certain strange cases are accompanied by images of faces bruised by weaponized crispy-fried meats.

Below are some incidents that may elicit laughs rather than fright, and we are sharing them with you for your own good.

The chicken nuggets that incited a sibling rivalry

Chicken nuggets are bite-sized chunks of battered chicken perfect with barbecue sauce. In a cuckoo case involving siblings and a lunch gone awry, they were weaponized.

While feeding her one-year-old son, 20-year-old Asia Jimenez was disrupted by her starving brother who thought it was a grand idea to grab his sister’s grub. When politely asking him to stop didn’t work, she threw chicken nuggets at him to more clearly get her point across.

In this reverse Jean Valjean situation, the brother didn’t stop taking food off his sister’s plate and even fought back by throwing a punch and splashing her with water. Their mother swooped by just in time to stop the fight, but the ‘damage’ had already been done.

Although the brother didn’t appear to be seriously hurt, the sheriff reported that there was a slight red bump on the left side of his face, which resulted in young Asia being arrested for misdemeanor domestic battery.

The cupcake catastrophe

Frosted cupcakes are delightfully soft and creamy. Florida native Eddie Yaddow’s encounter with the delicious desserts, sadly, was not a sweet one.

In another sibling spat, Latonya Daugherty (who was six weeks pregnant) and her brother Eddie fought over who should discipline her child. This led to a heated argument that had Daugherty hurling cupcakes at Yaddow, who retaliated by wiping the icing off his arms and chest and smearing his sister’s hair with it.

Not content with smudging his sister’s do, he punched and kicked her in the stomach despite knowing she was preggers.

Needless to say, a couple punches and ‘martial arts kicks’ (per their mother’s testimony) are far more excruciating than a couple cupcakes to the cabeza. But because Daugherty was identified as the primary aggressor, she was charged with battery and arrested.

Luckily, the investigation deemed punching and kicking a pregnant woman too extreme a reaction, which meant jail time for Yaddow for aggravated battery.

The cheeseburger beef

If you’ve never had an argument over a cheeseburger, you’re clearly not a carnivore -- something that can’t be said for this mother-and-son tandem.

We’d describe the argument between 19-year-old Noah and his 57-year-old mom Cheryl involving a cheeseburger as hot and juicy just to be clever, but the details of the beef are a gooey mess.

All we know is that Noah spat at and smacked his mom’s cheeseburger, hurting her in the process.

Two things can be deduced from this incident:

  1. It was a very good cheeseburger
  2. In many domestic battery cases, if you strike first, you’re identified as the primary aggressor and get the shorter end of the stick

The state of Washington imposes a Domestic Violence Protection Order in such cases, which aims to protect victims from being contacted by their abusers after the initial incident. These and similar cases typically lead to the court restraining and restricting contact between parties.

So the next time you feel like hurling french fries out of frustration or anger, think about the consequences. And if a petty spat leads to an injurious food fight, get in touch with Buckingham, LaGrandeur & Williams’ highly experienced personal injury lawyers for advice you can sink your teeth into.