Do you remember when all anyone could talk about was, “divorce rates skyrocketing to well over 50% of all marriages?” We still hear that statistic occasionally, but it’s just not true -- or at least it hasn’t been since the ’70s and ’80s.
That’s great for families, the institution of marriage, and minivan salesmen -- but it’s not doing family lawyers any favors.
We want to go back to working in the good ol’ days when getting a divorce was as easy as ordering a value meal. Just take a look at what it was like for the celebrities for yesteryear.
One marriage per decade, like clockwork
Billy Bob Thornton’s three-year marriage with Angelina Jolie in the early 2000s may be the most well known, but there’s a lot more to his marital history than blood jewelry and lewd confessions. So much more in fact, that in 2008 Thornton told Maxim magazine he would never marry again out of fear that the press would refer to whomever he married only as “number six.”
What if we call her “your 2010s wife,” Billy Bob? Is that better?
5 women, 7 marriages, and only one that lasted longer than a year
Although Richard Pryor ended up with fewer brides than Billy Bob, few celebrities can claim to have divorced and remarried two different women. See if you can keep up with this rollercoaster of a timeline:
- Richard divorced his fourth wife, Jennifer Lee, in 1982.
- In 1986 he married Flynn Belaine.
- And they divorced in 1987.
- But in 1990, Pryor and Belaine remarried…
- Only to get a second divorce one year later.
- Mr. Pryor took a ten-year break from the newlywed game before marrying Jennifer Lee a second time in 2001.
It’s amazing that after five Grammy’s, none of his seven wedding vows were ever nominated.
6 marriages in 26 years, or one every 4.3 years if you’re averaging
Elizabeth Taylor’s marital affairs became so wild and dramatic that many credit her with creating the paparazzi culture that currently plagues celebrities’ everyday lives.
In 1962, Taylor was photographed partying on an Italian yacht with her co-star/not-husband, and the scandalous release of the photos inspired an entire a generation of stalkerazzi.
The Vatican even went so far as to condemn the cheating couple for “erotic vagrancy” and advised that they be barred from reentering America.
That never happened of course -- Taylor still had her seventh and eighth weddings to plan.
If he’s been divorced six times and proposes on the first date -- get a prenup
Starting with his first rounds of nuptials at 18, Larry King has never known what it means to “take it slow.” The TV host is currently on marriage #8 and counting.
In fact, he proposed to Julie Alexander the first time he met her in person, which by some accounts lasted all of five minutes. She may have said yes, but their marriage barely lasted 13 months.
Which is still longer than his marriage to wives one and two -- or his short-lived career in late-night infomercials.
“I am a marvelous housekeeper: Every time I leave a man I keep his house.”
As of yet, no celebrities can claim as many marriages as Zsa Zsa Gabor. The Moulin Rouge actress eventually racked up nine marriages, and she was quite proud of it.
Another one of her quotes summarizes her opinion of marriage even better: “Of course I love being in love — but it is marriage that really fulfills me.”
Really, Zsa Zsa? Is that why you married Mexican actor Felipe de Alba before you even realized that you had yet to divorce your previous husband?
Ah, the good ‘ol days, when family lawyers could book the courthouse for a divorce hearing and a wedding ceremony for the same client...on the same day.
Long gone are the “would you like fries with that?” divorces of the Golden Girls age. Couples are staying together longer, and when they do divorce, there aren’t rebounds waiting outside the courtroom.
If you’re a Renton resident looking for legal counsel, give us a call...at any hour. Our schedule is a lot less crowded than it was in the good ol’ days.